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Starting a Potted Herb Garden

From Zero to Herbaceous

In my thirty-five years on this earth, no one has ever accused me of having a green thumb. Past attempts at keeping plants alive ended in grief, including three succulents that I was promised I couldn’t kill if I tried. I proved them wrong with little effort. For a long time the gardening gods were not on my side.

Until now.

With a little dedication and a lot of research, I have successfully started an herb garden (and kept it very much alive). And I’m here to tell you that if I can do it, anyone can. 

Bitten by the Gardening Bug

The older I get, the more I long to strip life down to its most basic.  I think it might be something that happens in one’s thirties. We sort of chew away at the once-appealing chaos of corporatism and its many gilded facades. Wholeness and meaning should be held in ones hands, embraced and worked at. Plunging fingers into the dirt to create something alive: that feels true.

Gardening gets under the skin and lives there until drawn out through implementation. It’s charming in the same way as cooking a meal from scratch, going to the farmer’s market, and decorating with heirlooms. There’s tradition in it.

All of my grandparents grew up on farms in the rural south and knew how to grow crops, the art of using one’s hands to produce nourishment. One set of grandparents had a vast vegetable garden the size of a swimming pool. As a kid, I’d follow them around picking squash and tomatoes, spending a week in the summers shelling peas, while listening to their stories from rocking chairs on the screened back porch. Eventually complaining that I’d become bored, they’d release me to play around the pond and swing set.

Despite my time in theirs, gardening did not take then, but I found my way back.

How we Potted our Herbs

Our backyard is mostly artificial turf and stone with a small border garden, but otherwise not ideal for planting in the ground. Thus, my boyfriend and I bought two large pots between 16 and 18 inches. We’ve elevated them on wooden stands for aesthetics and to give them a slightly better chance at sunlight in the one corner of our yard that gets full sun.

We chose basil, flat Italian parsley, Italian oregano, thyme, lemon thyme, and rosemary, buying two small plants of each and transplanting them into the pots. The basil and parsley plants are growing together in the smaller container, while the oregano, thyme, and rosemary are in the larger one. I planted the companions based on which herbs get along best together. 

Here are some helpful potted herb gardening tips I picked up:

  1. Know your hardiness zone. I live in Jersey City, which is zone 7b. Hardiness zones give a general idea of which plants will grow successfully in your area based on temperature.
  2. Know the last frost date in your area. Guides for each hardiness zone can be found online to give an idea of when various plants can safely be planted outside in each region without being killed off by frost prematurely. Also, your local plant store will provide clues as to when it’s late enough into spring to plant. If the nursery has a bunch of thriving herbs outdoors, then you’re probably good. I potted my transplants outside in mid-April. They did well, but I probably could have waited another week or two to be safer. 
  3. I only used an organic potting mix in the container, which I filled about two inches from the rim of the pot. I bought some fish food liquid fertilizer, which I’ve used once so far. I will probably use this fertilizer about once a month. 
  4. Spacing: I planted the herbs about six inches apart. I gave the basil and parsley a little more space. It really depends on how bushy you want each herb to grow, though, and how often you will prune or harvest.
  5. Use (or at least keep) the little labeled markers that come with the plants! Thank me later.
  6. Water about every other day or when soil is dry. When it rains several times in a week, you can probably get away with 2-3 waterings that week. All the herbs I planted are Mediterranean and don’t need a lot of water.
  7. Make sure your pots have good drainage. On the topic of water, these herbs thrive in well drained soil. They can be susceptible to root rot. The containers need holes in the bottom and to be elevated so that water can escape.
  8. Don’t let them go to flower. If any of your herbs start to bud and produce flowers, remove the flower as this will change the taste of the herbs. Unless you’re going for a more aesthetic herb garden as opposed to one for the kitchen.
  9. Enjoy your herbs! Give the plants time to grow and produce for a month or so. Then, begin harvesting and maintaining the herbs, which will keep them healthy and produce even more. 
Life

Whose expectations are you living for?

The only way to stop living for other people’s expectations of us is to live for our own. That comes from listening to our own hearts and learning to trust ourselves. It comes from living after our own values, striving for the highest potential of our own character. From there comes a true satisfaction, a confident and steadfast peace. 

“But it’s no use now,” thought poor Alice, “to pretend to be two people! Why, there’s hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!”

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Every person has their own needs and desires that drive them. That doesn’t make them a good or bad person. It’s simply how we all function as humans and it’s important to remember that when others act in accordance with their own internal (or external) guidance, we do not need to take it personally. What other people want or expect is neutral. 

Acceptance is an important step toward freedom. It’s natural to feel hurt sometimes when a person does or says something that goes against our own needs or desires, but after we acknowledge the hurt we must detach. Once we can let go of the idea that another person’s choices have anything to do with us, we can also step away from seeking validation.

Because that’s often why we live according to other people’s expectations, right? Validation? It gives us a false sense of self. It gives us a temporary feeling of acceptance, a momentary feeling of peace. Unfortunately, living that way means constantly chasing the approval of others, which means abandoning ourselves.

How do we end this exhausting chase? 

We get clear about our values. We get clear about what we want. We go deep to find out what a truly peaceful and joyful life looks like for us. And, we empower ourselves to determine what we will or won’t accept from others. 

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Goals, Life

How to Befriend your Holiday Hangover

A couple years ago I returned to work after Christmas vacation. Half-dazed, I said to a colleague, “It feels like I’ve just woken up from the deepest sleep of my life.” She looked at me with the eyes of a zombie and said, “Yeah… that’s exactly what it feels like.” 

I always long for a slow, quiet Christmas. Putting my feet up by the fireplace and cozying into a book while something sweet bakes in the oven, the lights of the tree twinkling in the corner. In reality, Christmas flies by amidst last minute shopping, visiting family and friends, running errands, and prepping meals. All of these things add to the excitement of the season, but leave us feeling a little dull once it’s all over. 

Just when we’re ready to relax after the holidays (for real this time), we have to get back to work, back to the gym, and make a long list of goals for the year. We get woken by the cold-water splash of New Year’s resolutions and external expectations.

What if, instead, we take a cue from our holiday hangovers and start the year slow? The New Year naturally marks a new beginning and we often use the restart to the calendar as a time to restart ourselves. But, what if we allowed a slow ramp-up to our goals instead of getting whiplash from hitting the gas full throttle?

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Literature, The Culture Beat

A post-Roe v. Wade time-hopping short story is sweeping major awards

A short story that begins in 2091, set in a future where abortion is illegal and periods are monitored through implanted microchips, has won Hugo, Nebula, and Locus Awards, some of the most recognized speculative fiction awards. 

Written by Samantha Mills for Uncanny Magazine in 2022, “Rabbit Test” tells the all-too-familiar story of Grace, a teenager who becomes pregnant and wants to terminate, but between legality and protective parents, challenges surround her. While unfolding Grace’s story set in 2091, Mills takes readers through time, exploring the history of pregnancy testing, birth control, and abortion. According to Mills’ website, the writer heavily researched these subjects. She describes this research and her sources in a blog post on the site. 

This gripping short story warns of a future where human bodies are government monitored. The main plot that follows Grace is supported by vignettes from different periods through history of women trying to make decisions about their bodies based on the laws, science, and medicine of the era. In one of these subplots, Alice reads an advertisement in Mademoiselle for the first at-home pregnancy test in 1978. In another, Mary in 1750, a widow of means, looks for home remedies to cure an unexpected pregnancy.

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Home, Life

From living alone to living with another

I knew that moving would be uncomfortable. I also knew that it was right. I lived alone in my one-bedroom apartment for three years. I built a nest there, a home, a safe and nurturing space. I healed there. I grew. I created and dreamed and brought life to my dreams. 

The apartment itself, the walls and space, became a canvas. There was freedom in my solitude. I was able to make it my dream apartment, even though it was small and cheap and, in places, falling apart. 

My old apartment

The imperfections were my favorite parts. There was a brick wall in the apartment, probably one hundred years old, with built-in bookshelves, where I put things I’ve collected and a cavity where I put my grandmother’s vase. The red porous brick absorbed love and sent back hope. Hope for more in life, more from myself. I found both. 

Since late winter of this year, I felt that it was time to move on. I’d been fantasizing about living in a brownstone and would visualize myself in a beautiful, old apartment with architectural details and fireplaces. The physical space around me brought joy, but the urge for something more tugged at me with soft, yet persistent hands.

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History

Walt Whitman’s self-love, authenticity, and shameless self-promotion

Taken from a private letter, Walt Whitman printed “I greet you at the beginning of a great career.” -R.W. Emerson on the spine of the second edition of Leaves of Grass in 1856. After self-publishing the first edition, Whitman gave the second edition of his famous poetry collection all the publicity he could muster, including publishing that private letter—from writer Ralph Waldo Emerson—in the New York Tribune without the writer’s permission. Emerson was, reportedly, not pleased. Whitman also wrote three anonymous critiques of his own book.

Whether or not this marketing push meets the ethical standards one would hope from the poet whose free verse established the voice of American writing, his brazen tactics do ring unequivocally American. He may not have found the success that brought ‘Song of Myself’ and ‘O Captain! My Captain!’ to the literary canon taught in classrooms across the nation without such self-promotion.  

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Life

Age is a celebration

South Korea passed a law that has aged its citizens in reverse. The country previously had two age systems. The most common started each person’s life at one-year-old from the time of birth and on January 1st of each year added to that number. The other began from age zero at birth and also added a year every January 1st. As of last week, South Koreans will adhere to the international age system, which puts most a year or two younger than their traditional age calculator. 

I have this thing when I’m one or two months from my birthday—I start thinking of myself as that upcoming age. I will be 35 next week. So, instead of thinking of myself as 34, I’m already 35 mentally. It’s a self-protective mind game I came up with when I was about to turn 30 so that I wouldn’t go into a state of shock at crossing the milestone. It’s a kind of early acceptance to avoid future despair. I accept something that is not reality in order to more easily accept reality down the road. 

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Life

Life is in the Minutiae

I came to the realization one day that if I’m miserable sitting down to eat a bowl of spaghetti I whipped up on the stove top, I’ll be miserable sitting down to eat a meal cooked by a private chef. Why? Because what I eat, where I eat, and where it comes from are minutiae that make up life. It doesn’t matter what’s in front of me or how it got there unless I’m grateful that it’s there and I enjoyed the process.

Regardless of our socioeconomic status, daily life looks very similar between most of us. As we envision the lives we want, it’s important to remember that. Thinking that one day when we have a big house or our dream job everything will be better is an escape mechanism for avoiding the present. 

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Goals

Stop trying to change

“Change is the only constant in life.” -Heraclitus, Greek Philosopher 

When I finally stopped trying to change myself, I experienced real growth. We believe that in order to create the life we want, we need to make big, sweeping changes, but trying so hard to change can breed resistance. 

Change is inevitable. It happens to us, and those around us, all the time. Forcing change is unnecessary. Change is constant. If there’s one thing we can count on, it’s that we will change and everything around us will change.  Continue reading →

The Year So Far

The Year So Far: Spring Awakening

The year started with a shock and, what felt like, a rejection. The ninety mile-an-hour busy, bubbly, rose-colored holiday season of 2022 slammed me right into an emotional wall. After spending months and months working on myself, growing, healing and feeling like I had gained this great strength, I found myself up against old wounds and confusion. I had to face the concept of rejection and I had to face myself. 

I’ve never fully been on board with cliches like “everything happens for a reason” or “the universe is looking out for you”. Logic has always intervened when it comes to belief in divine intervention. But, the events in my life over the past few months have made me re-evaluate. Perhaps providence dissolves that which is wrong for us. Perhaps the universe hands us the lessons we need.  Continue reading →